It’s OK to quit… sometimes

In Blog, Goal Setting Tools by Vince

Going against the grain of many rah-rah, “you can do it”, & “quitting is for losers” ethos promulgated by self-help gurus via their mega-seminars, books and videos, quitting things that you do is all to easy. Much like putting on weight over the holidays due to over indulgence, slothen lifestyle, travels and whatever else life throws at you, it’s ok to even completely stop… sometimes.

Like it or not, quitting is far too easy to do when things don’t go according to your plans. In such instances, quitting may be the most appropriate action to take, and in investment terms, a cut-loss strategy.

However, when someone signs up for a jiu jitsu program with the goals of self improvement and to learn self preservation only to be distracted and side-tracked by other’s competition prowess and prompts you to want to compete also. When the outcome of that experience didn’t work out to your aspirations quitting on those terms is not right. If anything, the experience should be beneficial and highlight which aspects of your toolbox were deficient and spur you to improve on those. Giving up in such circumstances only reinforces the loser ethos and dooms you to failure in most other areas of your life as you carry that same thought pattern in everything you touch on.

I know there are good and bad reasons to quit an activity, remove myself from a certain social network or toxic relationship. Not everyone shares the same values, goals or wants like you and I think that it is perfectly fine to venture out to find your own tribe for a long or short term goal. It may be only after going beyond the veneer that most people put up, that you realise what you have to deal with and it’s not in line with your goals. Quit and move on. After all, it’s your life and you should live it according to your wishes and on your terms.

It’s acceptable to quit when other life events requires greater attention (such as relocation, injury, loss of interest) and over time you realise you have out grown your tribe and know it’s appropriate to move on. It is also OK to quit if there are financial worries and you are stressed out about it, ironically, under such circumstances is when you need a stress outlet the most and when it will most benefit you. Plan accordingly and have an exit plan but also a re-entry plan. Not all decisions has to be finite and end with a “full-stop”. You will be walking away from a community of like-minded people who have been there to share your wins and losses, to provide you with support and also enjoys your contribution to their lives. These intertwined relationships are beneficial on and off the mats and form part of our network and social fabric of our existence. Suddenly throwing out the carpet can be shocking and sad, and often the individual is confused and disorientated for a while as the people in their lives suddenly no longer appear.

Many people use excuses like work, family, and other activities as reasons why they quit and in many cases these are just excuses to want to stop. Perhaps they have come to the realization that to get good at this activity that you have to put in hard work, to face your insecurities, your personal flaws, your truths and be willing and able to fight through those towards a goal. That’s the hard work that most people are unwilling to do.

Quitting can constipate you from personal growth, stunting you into a small corner of your potential. Facing and tackling your inner dragon (the beast that scares you to your bones) can be cathartic and liberating because you know, that even if you fail, that you tried.

In servitude,
Vince Choo

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