THE WAY I SEE THINGS: Negatives Drives Action

Vince Blog, Off The Mats

A number of events recently took place within the CMD organisation; a very senior and talented coach resigned after being in the group for  10 years. His departure left a temporary gap in the leadership structure but overall did not create the impact that I thought it initially would. After all, this isn’t the first time a very senior coach resigned or asked to leave and now as was then, a minor ripple emerged but no tsunami and things have continued as normal. People who left had their own valid reason to and to them I say, more power to you.

I am reminded at this point of the a recently popular internet meme currently circulating on social media:

accompanied with the caption, “may the bridges I burn light my way.” The fallacy of this being that you need to first cross the bridge in order to be on the other side, so the bridge that fell victim to your pyromanic tendencies would effectively remain behind you, not ahead, and said blaze will not illuminate your future path, only serve to cause unreasonable inconvenience to subsequent bridge users in addition to being a testament of your future negative, destructive and ego-maniacal personality disorder. Had you set the bridge on fire before crossing it, then you deserve your destiny as you just expired your most viable and immediate travel option and also not the smartest thing to do. Ironic but all too common. I never said this was a clever meme, just a popular on that I don’t subscribe to.

Our everyday lives are constantly exposed to negativity, usually in the form of thought (and usually self-limiting and self-undermining ones at that) and other people’s actions and attitudes. Sometimes it’s our own actions and attitudes that are negative, manifested no-doubt by the same thought patterns and vicious cycles of behaviour that causes us to do what we do. For whatever motivations that cause us to behave and think in these ways I have learned, through the results of those thoughts and actions, collectively known as “my mistakes” to interpret and deliberately seek out the “life lessons” contained in those episodes of my life.

Perhaps at the time, sunk in the deepest troughs of negativity and self-pity, we play out these destructive thoughts in our minds, gleaning satisfaction from the imagined suffering and despair that your words and actions have redeemed the errors that you suffered. So I have learned to avoid all this unnecessary drama and short-circuit the “feeling sorry for myself” and “now for revenge” phase of things. It isn’t easy as we first need to be aware that we manifest and for some, even delight in being in a position where you feel victimised therefore your follow up retort is justified and appropriate, even when it isn’t so. The next is mindfully to back off from the situation as if you were a third party observing yourself dealing with the incident, looking at your own posture, your facial expression, listening to your choice of words and then considering the other options that can create a more purposeful and meaningful outcome to the situation at hand.  It’s no surprise why in many hotel check-in and other customer service counters there are mirrors directly in view as people don’t particularly enjoy watching themselves “lose it”.

Sometimes there may not be a positive, win-win result possible and I’ve learnt that this is okay too. Sometimes they win, sometimes I win, sometimes no one wins and sometimes everyone wins. That’s life and how we manage these thoughts, I believe, is an accurate reflection on our integrity and character.

Remember that none of us are perfect but we seek out ways to serve as a salve over the imagined or real wounds in our minds, to justify our imagined retaliations and counter measures. I’m not a scientist or expert in these matters but I would imagine that all these negative thoughts would stir up the toxic cocktail of hormones that add further fuel to the fire and it will be reflected physically via stress, illnesses or manifest itself one way or another.

My current approach is then to take that energy that I would otherwise waste on negativity and channel it into something positive, powerful and productive. How can the lesson learned from this situation benefit me, the people who depend on me and people at large? How to turn this incident into a positive, uplifting and productive outcome? What did I learn from this incident about the people involved? About how they handled matters at hand and their exit strategy?

So out of this I believe the best and most positive option is to move forwards, move upwards and not get dragged down by negativity or down to their perspective and to focus on the people who believe in me, who are invested in the process and take them to greater heights and better experiences than the ones who left could ever imagine or attain alone.

In the theme of internet memes:

“If You Want To Go Fast, Go Alone. If You Want To Go Far, Go Together, ” said no one famous.

My reaction to all this? Do something great. Do something bigger, better, the more “wow” the better. Why? Simply because I can and there is no better way to prove that this is the organisation as the benchmark for all the others to compare with not to compete with. To be the industry-leader and to be in a category of One. This way more people will know and be involved. Like the popular fictional “bad guys” at Hydra, “cut off one head and another seven will grow,” attitude is the key for being pain in the butt and have fun doing it.

See you all in Lisbon.

 

In servitude and openness,
Vince Choo

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